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The Things Our Children Say

This page records some of the funny, bizarre, offbeat, amusing, embarrassing things that children say, often when least welcome. New ones on top. Contributions welcome. These can be anonymous or linked to individual records in the Family Repository.

Name (age) Circumstances Quote
Conal Barrett (4)
[August 2004]
On holiday, in Ireland, with his mother and two sisters - father at home, working, in Leeds. "Can daddy and I go on a boy's holiday?"
Conal Barrett (3)
[January 2004]
Wants some chocolate biscuits and when his dad says "Only one" "But I have another hand!"
Rebecca Barrett (5)
[November 2003]
Conal (3) wants to go with his Dad who is meeting colleagues for a meal. Dad says "You're too young, you can come when you're older". Mum says "That'll be in about 15 years. Rebecca - "But daddy could be dead by then!"
Rebecca Barrett (5)
[August 2003]
Discussing with her father the death of a friend and why people are sad. "Mummy won't be sad if you die."
"Why not?"
"Because she doesn't like sloppy kisses."
Rebecca Barrett (4)
[April 2003]
Talking to her mum about her next birthday "If Evan kicks me he's not coming to my party"
"Does he kick you?"
"No - but if he does he's not coming to my party"
Ciara Devlin (8) Asked why a teacher in her school, who had been planning to marry, hadn't in fact done so. "Maybe when it came to the "I do" bit, somebody went "I don't"!
Rebecca Barrett (4) Asked her father about the work name badge he has forgotten to remove. He said that it meant he was a "Very Important Person" "No you're not - you're just a Daddy!"
Rebecca Barrett (4) Weary after her first day at school and sitting in a daze. Her mother asks "Why aren't you out playing? Are you going to sit there all day?" "No. I'm going to lie down."
Rebecca Barrett (4) Observing her father getting ready to go out to a party, casually dressed. "You can't go like that, you have to look pretty. Mummy looked pretty once, when she went to a party"
Ronald McArdle (5) Comes in crying and tells his mother that a boy hit him. Mother says "You should have hit him back". "I did - I hit him back first".
Rebecca Barrett (4) Shares a room with her sister Catrina. Can't sleep and asks he mother to sleep with her. As they settle down- "Don't snore or you'll wake Catrina."
Rebecca Barrett (4) Days getting longer, goes to bed in daylight and rises in daylight To her Daddy - "God forgot to bring the dark."
Conal Barrett (23 mths) Up late, his mother sternly says "Bed! Now!" Waving to her "Bye Bye".
Megan Finnegan (2) In her Granny Eileen's house, noticing an enlarged framed photo of herself on the wall "Oh look! It's a big me".
Aimee Lynch (4) Commenting on a TV programme where a young boy was describing all the problems in his family. "Someone should tell him we all have problems".
Ciara Devlin (7) Recovering from a spell of illness her Granny asked her "Are you all right now wee lamb?" "Baaa"
Ciara Devlin (7) Asked if she was looking forward to her First Holy Communion "I'm looking forward to the feed afterwards"
Ciara Devlin (5) Asked if she missed her "Aunt" Margaret (a neighbour who looked after her while her mother was taking her sister Claire to school) who had moved away. "I miss her toast"
Conal Poland(4) Watching people receive Holy Communion "When will it be my turn to get a slice of banana?"
Ciara Devlin (4) Having asked if her aunt Margaret (Sister Claude) was married, and being told that she was 'married to God' "Does that mean that God is our uncle?"
Aimee Lynch (4) At the Blessing of the Graves when the Priest mentioned 'Jesus'. Loudly, and indignantly: "Why is he allowed to say bad words, and I'm not?"
Rebecca Barrett (3) When a Lollopop Lady spoke to her for the first time "She talks! Has she got a battery?"
Claire Devlin (3) When her attention had been drawn to a lamb lying down by itself. "Is that because he's fed up listening to his mummy?"
Mark Sutcliffe (5) Having asked who made the world, and being told that God made it all, mountains, seas, people etc "Thats silly, it would take 100,000 Gods to make all this."
Paul Sutcliffe (5) On seeing a soldier for the first time "Look mum - it's a real live Action Man!"
Jane Sumner (5) Returning from holiday, on being told to "keep her eyes peeled" for something. "Why should I have my eyes peeled when my nose is already peeled?"
Paul Devlin (3) Found standing with his hands behind his back, looking guilty. Without being asked - "I haven't got scissors"
Paul Devlin (2) On finding his foot had gone to sleep "There are stars walking over my feet"